Look for my short story The Nora Witch in the October Weirdbook Magazine annual. This is another weird western featuring Kairo. The mummy rides again!
Now available on Amazon!
Shambling Ramblings Regarding The Mummy (2017)
Yes. Pushing my way through the tide of negative reviews tabulated by Rotten Tomatoes, I watched the new Mummy movie on Friday night. Honestly, I had little choice in the matter to begin with due to, you know, monsters. Draped in my mummy t-shirt (yes I have a shirt with a mummy on it, don’t judge), and my love for Universal monsters, I plopped in my red velvet seat with large popcorn and fabulously overpriced soft drink to enjoy the first in a new line of Universal monster movies labeled as Dark Universe. Enjoy it I did…with a few caveats. Spoilers will follow.
First of all. The new Mummy movie is not a remake of the original Boris Karloff movie, nor the adventure/horror/comedy Mummy movie from 1999, although it borrows a bit from both. Director Alex Kurtzman attempts to straddle the line between horror and adventure movie while not really standing out as either. I can understand the reason for the balancing act. Universal is obviously shooting for the widest possible audience for the Dark Universe movies, and can’t go full R rated horror, while also not wanting to water down the DNA of horror found in the original monster movies. People may forget that the original Frankenstein movie was genuinely frightening at the time it was released, likewise several of the other monsters. However, monster movies are a niche (granted a big niche) genre and Universal has visions of Marvel sized box office bills dancing in their collective heads. It may simply not be meant to be. Please don’t stop trying on my behalf. I will gladly sit through all the attempts to make Universal monsters bigger than Batman.
There are several times in the movie that you can see Kurtzman genuinely trying to bring some of that old monster magic, the horror and atmosphere, into the picture. The start of the rebirth of the mummy once she is released from her coffin prison as she sucks the life from others, and awkwardly rises from the ground during a moonlit night, the turning of Dr. Jekyll into full Hyde mode (though I would have appreciated a more beastly form for the alter ego), the meeting in the alley between Nick and the mummy involving a horde of rats, the small army of skeletal Knights Templar arisen from their tombs to aid the mummy. The action scenes are done well, except for the zombie fight at the old abbey. The struggle is a bit hard to follow due to the dark lighting. The zombie themselves are shadowed and this makes it difficult to distinguish what is actually happening. I did enjoy the brittleness of the zombie’s with all the punching through bodies and smashing heads going on, I could tell that much.
The story and dialog have been endlessly derided, but I didn’t find it horrendous. It did the job most of the time and even had a dash of amusing bits thrown in (most likely from Christopher McQuarrie and David Koepp among a plethora of writers). The whole thing certainly could have flowed better, and I am not sure if we needed all the flashback/dream sequences, or some of the Jekyll stuff, but I know why it was there. Overall the movie makes a good launching point for the other monster movies to follow. I have faith that stronger directors will be able to hone the pictures for to their distinct visions. Nothing against Kurtzman, but he does not, at this time, have the singular vision/style of a John Carpenter or Guillermo Del Toro.
Tom Cruise does about what you would expect, which is good. I liked him in the role of Nick enough. Russel Crowe does not get to do much, but you can tell he wants to sink his teeth into the Hyde part more (to which I say bring it on), though he plays the good Dr. Jekyll well. Sofia Boutella is wonderful as the mummy in the title. The scenes where she is captured and chained are most effective. I wish she would have had the opportunity to play the shambling mummy more instead of the CGI mummy taking her part, but that is the world we live in now. The rest of the cast was on point, if nothing else. At least no one seemed to be phoning it in.
In the end, Tom Cruise’s character gains the power of the mummy. Although the curse threatens to overwhelm him, he retains the part of humanity that keeps him mostly good. We don’t see much of him after his turn, but we are expected to consider him a monster. I hope that in future movies we get to see the change. We can’t have a man carrying the curse of the mummy inside of him continuing to look like the immaculate Tom Cruise. I have a few suggestions.
His body should show a monstrous change. Because this dark and evil force is inside of him, Nick’s body should slowly be decaying and cracking as it can barely contain such a powerful darkness. Perhaps a chunk of his fleshly cheek is missing, there is a gash in his neck and various other small fissures across his body. He must hide them with bandages and strategic placed items of clothing…slowing turning into a mummy in form as well as function. His powers must also be toned down. It appears at the end of the movie, that Nick can resurrect the dead back to fully living as whole beings with ease. There must be a cost or a limit, otherwise power creep will settle into the other movies and we won’t be able to feel for the character anymore, since he seems to be invincible and all-powerful. Bringing his friend and girl back from the dead should be one offs. Let’s say that he can animate skeletons and the dead, but it drains him physically and mentally the more he attempts to do. Sand, of course, can remain his bosom buddy. I would prefer that the next time we see his friend Vail, he should be mostly skeleton and learning to deal with it. While we are at it, lets give Nick that old mummy shamble by hobbling his one leg. It did get broken by the mummy during her final struggles anyway. If Nick doesn’t sport a red fez at some point in his next film then I will be most displeased.
Well, this turned into several more words than I intended. I guess it all boils down to if you like monsters or not. If you like monsters, specially the classic Universal monsters, you will like the new Mummy movie. If you tend to stay away from horror movies and don’t care about monsters, and you expect to see a super hero mummy, or more funny than thrilling mummy movie, or like to find faults in movies that everyone dog piles negative reviews on, than you most likely should stay away from this Mummy movie.
Check your closet before you go to sleep tonight. You never know just what may shamble its way in there while you were unaware.
Of Beginnings
Just as a year ends, a new one begins. That means that every new year we begin a new story of our life, with only a rough plot outline to guide us. Sometimes the plot veers wildly off course, sometimes plot points disappear altogether, but no matter what happens a story will be written.
I am not one to write by the seat of my pants entirely. Therefore, here a few points of plot for my own personal story this year.
- My short story Devil Eye, Desert Heart will finally be published this year in the Reconstructing the Monster anthology by Emby Press.
- I will finish rewrites on my novel Shoot the Devil and begin the search for an agent and/or publisher.
- I will update my blog more often.
- I will finish my short story about a mystery solving old witch hunter (inspired by Ms. Marple).
- Zoolander 2
- Reread The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo.
- Write some poetry.
- Buy a proper writing desk and chair so that I can sit for longer than 30 minutes and I can do so without banging my knees into the keyboard tray.
- Take my daughter to her first professional baseball game (go Royals!)
That should be enough for now. I will no doubt accomplish things not on this list, but that is the fun of a rough outline, it is rough and leaves plenty of room for bursts of creativity. There may be things on this list that I fail to accomplish, but they will remain as wonderful backstory.
I wonder what your story will be this year? Feel free to leave a plot point or two of your own in comments. Whatever your story is, I hope it is simply fantastic.
Why So Many Songs About Werewolves?
Monsters and music go together like Laurel and Hardy, movies and popcorn or cotton and candy. I believe the first song I heard that featured a monster was either The Monster Mash or Ghost of John. The former is a Halloween staple that deserves to live forever, the latter is an old folk song with a creepy vibe. Lately, after trying to compile a monster music mix of my own, I came to realize that the werewolf reigns supreme in the genre.
Now, I love a good werewolf song as much as the next guy (I did write a children’s story about a werewolf), but how about giving some love to the other monsters. Off the top of my head I came up with Werewolves of London (The king of the werewolf song by Warren Zevon), Hungry Like the Wolf, Bark at the Moon, and Bad Moon. I found a list of another 163 songs during a short Google search. This is substantially more songs than for any other monster.
Is there something about the lore of the werewolf that lends it to flowing into song lyrics better than some other beast? Perhaps it has to do with tropes such as the full moon, wolf pack, silver, base animal instinct and letting the beast run free (although, other monsters certainly contain interesting and adaptable tropes of their own). Maybe the werewolf alone holds a unique pull on the human psyche. Maybe there are just more werewolves in the music business than we are aware of (you can’t tell me that Springsteen is not a werewolf, double for that Van Zandt fellow).
What about the Vampire? The only song that immediately comes to mind is Suck on the Jugular by the Rolling Stones (Jagger, definitely vampire). That’s all I can come up with for the blood sucking fiends of the night. They deserve more.
Ghosts have Miss Ghost by Don Henley, Ghost Story by Sting, Ghostbusters and Ghost Riders in the Sky. Admittedly, this is more than the vampire, but I know we can do better.
Frankenstein’s monster has Feed My Frankenstein by Alice Cooper and The Monster Mash. The Monster Mash is a verified classic that, by itself, seems to eclipse the whole of all monster songs. I have no problem with that, and feel it a shame that the tune is not played on the plethora of days that happen to fall outside the Halloween season.
Let’s see…zombies have Living Dead Girl by Rob Zombie. Witches fare slightly better with Witchy Woman by the Eagles and Hex Girl by the Hex Girls. Alien invasions have Children of the Sun by Billy Squire. Michael Jackson’s Thriller has honorable mention for incorporating a total horror B-movie vibe. While the Mummy…well…I’ve got nothing (somewhere in the desert a crusty tear slides down a tattered and dirty cloth strip cheek).
I’ve decided to do my part and provide a few song lyrics as impetus to get those creative juices flowing for all you musicians out there. Please allow that I am no lyricist, merely a humble writer of stories and poems. I present the following:
- Let’s trip the bite fantastic
- Far, far worse is the desert curse
- You’ve got blood in your eye
- Shambling from the grave you gave
- Creature stole my heart
- I’ll take a bite out of your life
I should think that would be a good start. Feel free to provide a few of your own lyrics to help the cause.
Now if I can just get Weird Al to make his Halloween album…
Diary of a Mad Writer
Allow me to introduce you to a bit of my writing process. The following are a few pages from my writing journal for the current novel in progress. A glimpse behind the curtain. Now, off you go to that wicked witch’s castle.
Under the Influence
All of us are influenced by something or someone. This adds modifiers to our life for ill or good. In the life of a writer, those influences can be readily seen in their work. Sometimes you have to search for it, and sometimes it shouts in your face and kicks your head in. I thought I would take a moment and list a few of my influences. “I thought they were readily seen?” you may ask. With much of my work, as yet, unpublished, I feel that I must do a little shouting. So, in no particular order I give you a few of my influences:
- The Bible. This book is filled to the brim with the struggle of good and evil, light and darkness, sin and righteousness. As a whole, it tells an amazing story of love and grace. There are profiles of incredible courage and faith as well as horrible misdeeds and destruction. The blind being made to see, the bones of dead men walking, fire from the heavens, ghosts and witches, angels and demons, wars and family squabbles, kings and prophets, and all manner of supernatural events. It is difficult to not be influenced, in way or another, by such things found here.
- Dragonlance. The original Dragonlance series by Magaret Weis and Tracy Hickman to be exact. I believe this was the first series of books that I read, or more like devoured. The various characters that comprised the Heroes of the Lance, became like family. It has been a long time since I read those books, but the feel of the adventures and the aspects of the characters such as Raistlin and Caramon and Tanis and Tasslehoff and Flint and Sturm and Laurana, echo often in my mind.
- The Universal monsters. I have no idea when it started, but I have a special fondness for the staple of movie monsters that Universal made popular. I never tire of watching the old black and white movies haunted by Dracula, the Wolf-Man, Frankenstein’s monster, the Mummy, the Invisible Man and the Creature. These are beings that live just outside of the normal world with fantastic and often tragic stories. Misunderstood or malevolent, these monsters continue to find new ways of reinventing themselves and staying fresh. Perhaps it is because they whisper to something deep inside each of us. Maybe it is because what frightens us also fascinates us. Either way, I am a fan.
- The Three Musketeers and the Hunchback of Notre Dame. This may surprise none of you, but I am a romantic. These two novels, more than any other, speak to that romantic writer in me. I am referring not to being in love (however, there is much to love in the language and prose found here), but in that classical sense of the word. These are stories that are pumped from the heart to the page through the pen. Stories of horror, adventure, honor, pain, grief and a whirlwind of human emotion. I cannot shake them ‘ere I try.
- The movies of John Carpenter. I can still remember the first time I watched Halloween. The way that Carpenter used the widescreen format is nothing short of haunting. He showed us a boogeyman of pure evil that would not be stopped, but framed him in such a way as to be instantly mythical. I could say the same of many of the films in the Carpenter filmography. The Fog is another personal favorite. Escape From New York is dripping with cool. The Thing is a remake that eclipses the original in every way. Big Trouble in Little China is filled to the brim with so much of the things I love that I can’t help but take it as a personal letter to me. I envision all of my writings as a John Carpenter movie as I’m writing them.
- Honorable mention: Robert E. Howard, Marvel Comics, William Shakespeare, Zhang Yimou, Danny Elfman, Shaw Brothers, The Monster Squad, Stephen King, Vincent Price and Edgar Allen Poe.
Good Evening Mr. Vampire
I have had the movie Rigor Mortis in my Netflix queue for a while and finally decided to give this little vampire flick a viewing. I must say that I was impressed.
I had no idea going into it, but this movie is apparently an homage to the eighties Chinese film Mr. Vampire. I have not see Mr. Vampire, but I have a fond remembrance of an old Hammer movie called Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires. Which was my introduction the Chinese hopping vampire. Rigor Mortus may be an homage but one they take deadly serious. This movie is very dark and very bloody.
The mood is set at the beginning with focus on the aftermath of a horrible fight or accident. A slow, haunting song permeates the scene. Burning embers float in the air. We then proceed to see how this scene came about.
The actors are very good all around. I have to give a special mention to Anthony Chan as Yau, the vampire hunter. I could watch a whole movie that just followed him as he vanquished vampires and other supernatural things around his apartment complex. He is supposed to be a vampire hunter who ran out of vampires to hunt and so cooks with his extra rice for those in the building. Here’s an extra tip for you; they don’t say it in the movie, but the reason a Chinese vampire hunter would carry rice is because if they dropped a handful of rice in front of a vampire, the fiend would have to stop and count each one.
Look for Rigor Mortis streaming on Netflix.
Action in Writing
Have you ever had an idea that seemed good at the time, then when it came time to execute, you cursed your past self for a fool? Perhaps, it’s just me.
When plotting my current novel, I had several grand designs; let’s have a great portion of it happen on a train, set it in the late 1920’s and include a car race between ghostly and ghastly drivers. It was this last one that got me. I have always wanted to write a race between monsters, and I found a prime way to introduce one to my novel. I had little idea what I was getting myself into.
I decided to have six racers, each with a unique car and distinct driver. At first, I thought I would write the race in verse to give the sequence an epic quality it deserved. However, this would take considerably fewer pages and I have a tendency to write sparse enough as it is. Scratch that idea.
I then commenced to writing the entire thing out as one long chapter. I wrote a short description of each car and driver and kept it handy as I wrote. I also sketched out a map of the road the race was to take. This led me to the different legs of the race and included a distinct obstacle for each to keep things interesting. While writing, I had to juggle the racers and positions and take care to keep track of each. As this is a first draft, I am certain to have made some mistakes ( I caught one during writing), but the flow of the race is intact and should make a great fossil for me to flesh out in the next draft. Hopefully, it will be as thrilling as my original grand design suggested.
The lesson here is to be careful not to bite off more than you can write. Now on to the part of the story where the hunchback, lady and angel evade the mob and the cops with the aid of some carnival crew and gigantic bird…
October Reading
I thought I would do something a little different this October. Instead of recommending movies, I will recommend books to read during the Halloween season. You can find my movie recommendations easily enough, and they have not changed much. There is nothing like finding that perfect book to guide you into the Fall and get you in the mood for candy corn breezes, skittering shadows and howling at the moon. Without further ado…
Dracula by Bram Stoker: If you don’t know what this book is about, I pity you.
The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova: This eerie tome will capture you in dark shadows and far off places, and drown you gently in its splendid prose.
Anno Dracula: What if Dracula lived through Bram Stoker’s tale? It won’t be pretty…
From the Dust Returned: A fabulous collection of tales woven by the master of October. Read each one carefully and bathe in the magic of the night.
The Savage Tales of Solomon Cane by Robert E. Howard: You can choose any of the stories in this collection to read or read them all. Kane will take you into the thrilling dark wild and face things that will make your bones quake.
The Poems of Edgar Allen Poe: Take your pick. My personal favorites are The Raven and The Bells. You will easily find your fill of the macabre and spooky within Poe’s verses.
I will leave you with these for now. I bid you good night…and a good haunt.
Baseball Magic
As a slight chill slinks into the nights and the close of the baseball season is nigh, I feel compelled to write a few words about the sport. I am not a sports nut by any stretch of the imagination, but I do follow the Royals, Cheifs, Bears and spy an occasional hockey game. However, it is baseball that has always held me in thrall.
I collected baseball cards in my youth and and chased autographs like any young fan would. I have a baseball autographed by George Brett, a picture autographed by Nolan Ryan and faux autographed postcards from nearly the entire team of the ’87 Mets (we can’t always choose who we love and why, we just do). I played baseball from elementary school days through high school, and though I was never very good, I had a certain excitement when trotting onto the field. A game of catch always seemed to occur in a pocket dimension of bliss.
There is something magical about baseball. Something in the pace of the game, the sounds and the flight of the ball. The eldritch sign of the diamond, the positions of the nine men on the field weaving a spell over all who witness the proceedings. The fascination in the people and the numbers of the seemingly simple game. Whatever it may be, I love it. It doesn’t hurt that the Royals are deep in contention for the playoffs this year, a kind of magic indeed.
I wish I could write as eloquently about the sport as Joe Posnanski (a fine writer and fellow man bewitched by the Royals), but this small aside will have to suffice. In case you are in need of a baseball movie to ease the end of the season out to that sea of ethereal mist from which the season always returns each spring, I recommend The Natural, Mr. Baseball and Field of Dreams.
Someday I will write my vampire baseball novel, but it will have to wait for another season.
Wheels Within Wheels
I recently finished my first P. G. Wodehouse book. It most certainly won’t be the last. You see, I have been holding off on reading Wodehouse for some reason or another for many years. I knew that folks like Steve Martin and my friend Alan Cornett have nothing but high praise for the Wodehouse bibliography, yet still I resisted. That is, until I spied this Norton paperback edition of Heavy Weather with a wonderful illustration on the cover (by Siyu Chen). Seemed as good as any book to start with.
The title of this post refers to a saying that a young Monty Bodkins says many times throughout the book and could easily describe the plot. It involves a manuscript of recounts and reminiscences by a Galahad Threepwood that, if they were to be published, would surely bring to light the rowdy pasts of much of the elite society and generally cause an uproar of sorts. However, Galahad has refused to send the manuscript to the publisher Lord Tilbury(AKA Stinker). Lord Tilbury takes it upon himself to pinch the papers, so to say, but he is not the only one after them. Hilarity ensues.
Wodehouse has a wonderful way with language and I can see that Terry Pratchett must be a fan of Wodehouse as well. The descriptive passages often reminded me of Pratchett. The characters are lovingly rendered and fit the story marvelously. I look forward to reading more of Wodehouse. I know there are a few more of the Norton editions with equally fantastic covers I will have to chase down. Tally ho, and I’m off.
Bats and Spiders and Everything Nice
That’s what super girls are made of.
The news is out that Batgirl is getting a makeover via a new costume and attitude. The DC comic featuring Barbara Gordon will be losing the darkly grim and gritty for rollicking adventure and mystery during grad school. The new direction is accompanied by a new costume designed by artist Babs ( how appropriate) Tarr.
The costume is simple and functional and ready for prime time adaptability. The only downsides to the costume I see are the black stripe on the pants and the helmet. Just how is that helmet to stay on? I would include a thin strap at least or a chic facsimile would be suitable.
I never understood why a movie featuring Batgirl has not happened yet. It sounds like the new direction would be a perfect place to begin in translating Barbara’s exploits to film. My daughter and I would be front and center.
Barbara is not the only gal getting a new direction. Thanks to the new Spider-Man event Spider-Verse, Gwen Stacy is joining the super hero crowd.
I always liked Gwen as a character and felt she had been underused as just the impetus for Spider-Man’s angst and hero guilt. It is nice to see that in an alternate universe, she survived and became a super hero all her own. Just because she is in an alternate universe, I don’t expect her to stay there for long. Fans have gone bonkers over her return and I have a feeling that Gwen will be swinging into our familiar universe soon. Hey, Peter Parker is no longer married to Mary Jane so the door is wide open for a lost love to return anyway.
As with Batgirl’s new costume, Gwen’s Spider-Woman costume is fantastic. I love it even more than Babs’. Props (that’s right, I said props) to Robbi Rodriguez for knocking the design out of the park. It is at once edgy and iconic and not a complete bear for other artists to tackle.
I can’t wait to get these two comics in my hands, and the hands of my daughter. She is thrilled to see a couple of super girls with awesome costumes that she could easily see herself wearing. Lets see if the character of the these two super heroes live up to the expectations. I, for one, will be following both the comics and look to be pleasantly surprised.
ELECTRIC DARKNESS 